We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
