Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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