Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
