Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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