God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
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