i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
