there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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