eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
