Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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