Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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