i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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