Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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