It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
