you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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