I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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