He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
