I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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