census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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