Whod you bang
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
