I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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