I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
