Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
