3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize