idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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