I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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