Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
