We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
