I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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