at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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