you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
