Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
