i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
