Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
