what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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