I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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