I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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