Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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