Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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