i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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