First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
