I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
