she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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