you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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