you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
