I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
