Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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