Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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