I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
