I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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