On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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