Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
