He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it hurts more in the daytime
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
