It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
