I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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