Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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