she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
