I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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