Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
