C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Boobs speak an international language.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
